parenting

The Mum Brigade.

I’ve not written a toddler post in a while, for that I apologize. It’s not that Bea hasn’t given me things to write about (she certainly keeps me on my toes) It’s more that the knitting aspect of my blog has Kept me busy this past few weeks.

So in light of that fact I thought this week I would talk about motherhood, or more precisely “the mum brigade” or “mum police” as they are often called.

In my short time as a mother, I have noticed two very different groups of mums. The mums that are in this parenting adventure with you or the mums that live to judge and belittle, to enforce opinions of their own.

From tapping my shoulder on the bus to inform me my child’s legs will get cold in shorts,  to suggesting to a good friend of mine that her upset son should “only be allowed out if sleeping”  the mum police are everywhere and it’s just not pretty.

I myself actually stopped attending one group after watching a group of mums laugh at another mother who’s child was having a meltdown.

What I can’t understand, is why. Is it really necessary to belittle and upset other mothers? would you be so forgiving ‘mum in cafe’ if I told you your sons constant shouting ‘muuuummmmy’ was not because he was tired but moreso because you haven’t looked up from your kindle since you arrived.

” another mum watched me feed me baby a bottle, then just as I finished came to say that breast is best – she walked away  before I could say medically I couldn’t breastfeed”  – annon mum 

 I say again … why ?

Motherhood is bloody hard, the days when nothing you do is good enough and your sweet/innocent toddler is insisting on shouting “no mummy” to everything ; those are the days you need supportive mums. Not the mums that will tell you too much T.V is bad for your child, or  give you (shudders) the condensing head tilt along with the use of the  word “spirited”

It’s not that giving advice is bad, It’s the attitude that goes with it. Lets face it all us mums really want is a hug, a cup of tea and another mum saying “it’s okay we’ve been there”

I am so eternally grateful for the mums with me in my motherhood adventure:

The group of mums I met at a ‘birth to crawling’ group who embraced my little ones tendency to grab faces, invited us for coffee/playdates and check in regularly to see how we are all doing/share experiences.

My friend who was pregnant at the same time as me, who gave birth first and even on the photo’s announcing the birth of her beautiful boy she checked in with me to see how me and bump were doing. We meet regularly and share experiences whilst the little ones play.

My own mum who listens to my many parenting questions, who taught me not to be embarrassed when bea isn’t being well behaved in public, who continually tells me i’m doing a good job even when I don’t feel it.

I honestly believe every mum needs this, a team of mum’s behind them ready to hold you up if it gets hard. Whilst at a family wedding this weekend and wrestling my grumpy tired little girl one mum asked if she could get me a drink and said simply ” It’s what us mums do”

It’s all too easy to forget that we’re all in this together.

So my message to all of you mums out there is to stick by each other, A fed baby is a happy baby regardless of how it’s done, a tantruming child doesn’t make a bad mum, every child is different and every parent is different. Instead of offering advice that could be upsetting/unwanted, offer a helping hand, a cup of tea  or even just a smile that reads “i know what your going through”

Join the Mum army ranks, work alongside the team and together we’ll do okay.

 

 

 

 

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